-By His Grace-

Monday, April 27, 2009

I had wished I had kept this up, but..

A very random post.

Empathy. What shall we say?
Pride. What can I say?

The very human nature is prideful. Of the so-called "seven sins", satan fell as a result of pride. But just as a pastor had said, you gotta give it to the guy for trying so hard; why don't we try just as hard in our faith?

Just as satan did try so hard, as hardily as we might try, the most difficult thing to say is, "I understand." and meaning it. Understanding this statement is also difficult; so the point is that we are more than often too caught up with ourselves to make that statement.

Let me illustrate this point.

Fictive kinships - relationships that are created in our lives not necessarily related to blood. If I knew someone who lost a loved one, I can't possibly say that I understand. Until I lost a good friend last year. The tears came. And I understood then. Yesterday I lost a cousin, whom at the point of losing the battle with cancer, rejected God. The tears didn't come - I didn't knew much about the guy except we're related, but there was a sense of sadness, losing someone to satan. I had never really understood what it was like to lose in such a manner.

Can we ever put ourselves down? For others? For a lost soul?
Are we able to love God first and love ourselves - we usually love God because we love ourselves first.

And there you have it - another incomprehensible truth, how God loves us.

Can you understand?

blogged on _9:35 PM

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I thought I would be able to keep this up, but I guess it would take some getting used to again.
Saw Zhenjie today, who was sort of the first guy that introduced me to the concept of blogging too. I think the last time I saw him was after graduation from JC; what a coincidence.

Many things I would claim to be coincidental, but as I grow in my faith, I've come to realise nothing is fortuitous. Take my trip to the North east side of Singapore for instance. I was at one of the secondary schools and got to chat with the administrative personnel of the school. I got to share with her about my faith which motivates me in my life and found out that she's moving here around the area where I live. "Coincidentally" too, to the block of our "BPGC Community Centre". She took down my contact in the event that she needed tuition for her son. I'm not very sure if anything is to come out of this episode, but it was still amazing nonetheless.

There are so many many things. The only question that comes to my mind was that if there were some things that God wanted me to look into. That thought lingers and prompts me into desiring to act occasionally, but I have yet to plunge in.

Another episode which made me think occurred last Saturday on a bus. Simple situations such as these can be mind-provoking. An old uncle was quarreling with the bus uncle when I boarded the bus. With my limited understanding of dialect, I picked out what I comprehended and pieced the situation to be the bus uncle having missed allowing the old uncle to alight from the previous stop, probably due to the large number of commuters on the bus. The old man was indignant and stood his ground, probably clinging on to his right as a commuter. The bus uncle was equally riled, probably because the old uncle could have taken a long time to get to the exit and he had assumed that no one else was alighting, hence taking off.

Such a small issue got the rest of us stuck at the bus stop for a full 5 minutes. It led me to think of how man is able to blow a small issue out of proportions. It was comical to see the indignant old uncle turning his back to the bus uncle to simulate a strike and refusing to alight till justice was served. We are a bunch of selfish lot aren't we? Every small little thing in direct relation to us matters, yet we're never satisfied with small little things. We stand our ground and fight for our "rights" for insignificant details and yet are unfaithful in the minute responsibilities. We always complain at the slightest hint of defect but never marvel at the wonders of creation.

When we take time out from our busy, non-stop pounding action-filled lives, we might just come to see the many things that we ought to be thankful for.

Stop and think seem such an easy instruction to follow. Many times we think, but seldom stop. That is why we never get to appreciate some things more than it deserves.

Thank God for the 10,000 trillion cells that make me.

blogged on _12:18 AM

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Its been one year, 3 months and 3 days.

I've been giving it some thought to start blogging again and note down some thoughts rather than just ramblings on about the days that pass by.

Much had happened in the time that nothing was recorded on this site. I do feel that's a bit of a regret, but I'm not going to fret about it.

Having have some time during these holidays, I do hope to make good of my time on constructive things. I have started on reading the Old Testament, or as Ravi Zacharias and his Professor like to put it, the not-so-recent Testament. I pondered for a while where to start, since I have had read a bit part of Genesis before. Eventually that was where I started, and it is a good place to start.

I made this decision while listening to Ravi's sermons; he uses mainly Old Testament stories and characters, and his knowledge of it is indeed rich. I was fascinated by the so many events and stories that I hear from the OT which I have not heard before as a child. Attending Sunday School was a long time ago, but the "popular stories" do still stay a little less than fresh in memory. But those were just stories to me, without meaning when i did not comprehend my faith. Now having been more ably equipped with a little more knowledge, I do hope the OT would bring me to know more about the fascinating God whom I hold my faith in.

I do hope I will be able to come back here again and think back about the times when I do blog.
I do hope this would come to hold memories for me when my own fail me.

blogged on _12:25 AM

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Saturday, October 06, 2007

i felt i have learned a lot in the past week.
it is a non-stop process; to which there is no end.

but how much of a desire do we have to fill ourselves with knowledge?
then what constitutes this desire?
what is our motivation?

in the study of everything Japanese, i had this opportunity to understand Japanese's new religions and their origins. academics have researched and wrote papers describing and expounding their formulated theories. in their bid to explain the origins, they attributed most Japanese' desire for a religion as a need for their lives to be filled, and achieving general happiness, not just for themselves, but their families too, and testimonies are happily recited to entice more followers. this is not a generalisation of all religions, but one markedly fact that stands out in what i have read was the self-centeredness of it all. eventually, it all comes back to the benefits of one-self; the happiness of one's family members still contributes to the self benefits. what are the academics purposes for writing these papers? their source of motivation?

so really, what fills your life?

having found the source, how much are we doing?

blogged on _1:05 PM

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Saturday, September 29, 2007

unknowing pride and knowing pain.

blogged on _10:53 AM

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

She is 23 and has and IQ of 156.
Just if you are thinking what's the big deal, the average IQ is 100, and Albert Einstein has one that hits 160.
And it is rare to find beauty and brains.
A lot of brains.
So that's the big deal.
It'd be interesting to date her.
Probably ego-deflating too.

I feel almost inclined to complain and scream and write about tearing my hair out.
But I will not.

blogged on _1:18 AM

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

i thought i wasted one whole morning and afternoon yesterday.
starting on my 1st essay on research.
the frustrations encountered were indescribable.
it got a better turn later in the day, and i managed to get a little something done.
i hope it'll be worth lugging the 8 books home for research.

back. to. work.

blogged on _10:51 AM

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